AUTISM FROM A MOM’S PERSPECTIVE: PART 3 – THE WORLD THROUGH PAXTON’S EYES

If you missed my first two blogs, "Autism from a Mom's Perspective," click here to read about what autism is from my point of view.  Click here to read frequently asked questions about autism.

Autism from a Mom's Perspective:  Part 3 - The World Through Paxton's Eyes
 

I want to show you, as best as I can, the world through Paxton's eyes.  I can't possibly know exactly what goes through his mind, but I do my best to understand and empathize with what my son feels and thinks. I hope that what I do know about the Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) and my daily experiences I am able to help YOU understand what persons with ASD and/or SPD are living with daily.  A reminder, this is MY story about my son.  There are no two people on the spectrum that are exactly alike.  In fact, you can have completely opposite symptoms, traits, or behaviors and still be under the same spectrum.  Crazy, huh?

Sensory Processing Disorder or SPD is a condition in which the brain has trouble receiving and responding to information that comes in through the senses.  Many times persons with autism have SPD, but sometimes a person can have one or the other.  Think about it.  You have five senses.  Think of what it must feel like to have something hurt your body, hurt your eyes, sound overwhelmingly loud, smell overpoweringly strong, and taste like a mouthful of ocean-water all at the same time. Talk about sensory overload!  That's not to say that all these things happen all at once.  I'm just trying to help you get a sense (no pun intended) for what it must feel like for someone with sensory sensitivities.

So here it is:  Life Through Paxton's Eyes. 

I had my friend, Missy, of Missy Moore Photography, follow us to the park to help me capture a day in the life of Paxton.

If you took your child to this park, what would he see?  What would be the first thing he’d run to?  Would he go straight for the slide?  The swing set?  How about that ladder over there you can climb up?  Or maybe he’d be drawn to the other children his age and do what they are doing.

 

My boy?  The very first thing he notices is the big circle with the spinning hand that looks much like a clock.  It's a legend for finding different objects around the park.  Do you see it?  I swear Paxton can spot fans and clocks from a mile away!  It's quite remarkable, really.

 

 

Paxton has always loved circles.  He especially loves fans. He loves to watch the fan blades spin.  He loves the sound a fan makes, white noise, if you will.  This boy can make ANYTHING spin.  Many kiddos on the autism spectrum love fans.  Sounds funny, I know.  So let me attempt to put this into perspective to help you understand.

Where is your favorite vacation spot?  The lake?  The mountains?  The beach?  When you were there, did you take a picture of the beach, let's say?  You can see the sand, the blue waves coming in, the clear sky above, the palm trees swaying in the breeze.  What did you do with that pic?  Is it on your phone?  Is it in a picture frame on your desk?   Why?  It makes you feel good, doesn’t it?  It is visually pleasing to you.  You can look at the picture and feel instantly relaxed as you remember that moment in time.

That is what fans, clocks, pinwheels and circular objects alike do for Paxton.  They make him feel good.  He loves the way they look.  They are visually pleasing to him.  Why?  I don’t know.  Why do you like to look at the ocean waves rushing in?  Same thing.  It's just that his love for fans is more obvious than your love for the beach and therefore he sticks out.

Take a look at this park again.  Think of what you might hear and feel. 

 

What would your child hear?  Would he hear the other children at the park laughing and talking?  Would he hear the birds chirping?  Would he hear the sound of a ball bouncing?  Maybe hear the swing-set squeaking?  He probably won't necessarily "hear" anything because he is so focused on running to that slide before anyone else gets there first!

What would Paxton hear?  He would hear the neighbor, several blocks down the street, mowing his lawn.  He would hear the airplane flying overhead LONG before you and I would hear or notice the plane.  His sense of hearing is amazing.  It’s that white noise thing again.  He loves the sound of fans or motors or engines.  Those sounds are very overpowering for him.

At home, we can have the TV going, his baby brother squealing, the phone ringing, and the sound of the dishes clanking together as I'm making dinner.  All these sounds.  All at once.  Paxton will hear the motor of the refrigerator humming louder over ALL those sounds.  He will come up to me and hum, with perfect pitch, the sound of the refrigerator.  

 

 

Paxton sees things differently and hears things differently.  He also feels things differently.  Going down this slide, we didn't see that it was wet.  He's got a big smile on his face before he goes down, but when he got to the bottom?  Whoa, man.  Not a happy camper to have his pants wet.  Your child may like to dig his hands in the mud or run his fingers through the mulch on the playground.  Paxton would go ape if he got his hands dirty and would immediately ask for a towel.  To put this into perspective, how would you react if I brought over a big bucket of slugs and asked you to bury your hand in the bottom of that bucket?  You know the slugs won't hurt you, right?  But would you want to do that?  Would that slimy, squishy, creepy, crawly feel good to you or would it make you feel uncomfortable?  That is what it is like for Paxton to get his hands dirty.

 

Heaven forbid the worst, let's say your child fell down and scraped his knee.  Would he limp to you and cry because it hurt?  Paxton maybe would come over to me and ask me to "kiss-kiss" his knee and then he'd be off. In fact, he may purposely fall again just to feel that pressure on his knee.  A lot of times people with sensory issues have a high tolerance for pain.  Then again, sometimes they are super sensitive to touch.

 

This I can't explain.  Things just feel different to him.  Everywhere.  His hands.  His feet. His mouth.  His whole body. 

 

 

 

I covered how Paxton sees, hears, and feels things differently.  As far as I can tell he doesn't have issues with scent, but in my next blog I will cover how Paxton tastes things differently.  I will show you how he plays and learns differently.  I will show you how we work with him at home and how we communicate with him in a way he understands.

 

It's hard to know if the silly things Paxton does is because of the autism, his sensory issues, or the fact that he's really just a typical 3 year old boy.  I don't know, but this I do know, God has a hopeful future for my little boy.  Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope."